Mr Cheese is story by acclaimed author Ryan Finlay about pain, suffering and "Hippy Gorilas that ...do weed". Ryan created two versions of this school classic, the second of which Liam Tullett has in his possession.
Here is the original draft, completed on 9 September2010, of the fantastic masterpiece known as 'mrCheese':
In 200,000 AD there was no human race. The only race was Hippy Gorilas that could fly and do weed. But then alien come in and contuct mrcheese because a fat one was hungry, so they took mrcheese to their home planet called ButtButtopia and the fat one was about to eat it but the stench made mrcheese a god Then back on the planet earth The Hippy gorilas went to the venting machine but mrcheese wasn’t their. So then they declaird war
The final version of Mr. Cheese was submitted as a book, despite numerous reminders to be submitted as a poster. It was shorty crumpled and throw away, before being rescued by Liam Tullett.
Page 1: In 200000 AD there was no human race, because of the gorillas that flew in on a giant carrot.
Page 2: Yet of their scariness they eliminated all humans and animals.
Page 3: Then they found this mouldy slice of cheese in a vending machine in Earth cheese was made out of everything such as cheddar trees, Swiss cars and lots stuff.
Page 4: So of course they would have had a cheesy lord called Cheezel. And that's why the gorillas grabbed the vending machine, put it in the middle of the city and named their new lord Mr Cheese.
Page 5: After 20 years of bowing down to Mr Cheese, they decided to try find another slice or bit of cheese because Mr Cheese stunk out the whole city. They couldn't find any other bits of cheese.
Page 6: The time they went back to Mr Cheese he wasn't there. Mr Cheese got abducted by fat aliens. The fat aliens use rotten cheese as their gods.
Page 7: The gorillas looked all over the city for Mr Cheese but they couldn't find him. But the fat aliens left a stinky scent from Mr Cheese. So the gorillas flew off on their giant carrot to save Mr Cheese from the fat aliens.
Page 8: After they landed on the fat aliens' home planet, called Buttbuttatopia, they went into stealth mode by going on all four of their legs and pretending to be dogs. The fat aliens have never seen a dog before.
Page 9: Now they have to get to the central business district and try to find a giant mound with a vending machine on top. And it was right in front of them so they grabbed Mr Cheese out of the vending machine.
Page 10: They went back into stealth dog mode then they hopped back on their giant carrot and flew back to Earth.
Page 11: For the next couple of years the gorillas bowed down to Mr Cheese until they all died from the gross scent of rotten cheese. // By Ryan Finlay 7W // MORAL: Don't take what's not yours